If only their type had included men who were (a) available, (b) not addicted and (c) functional members of society. They allowed themselves to fall into the grip of some obsessive romantic fantasy that doomed them to unhappiness. I can't tell you how many girlfriends of mine have wasted the best years of their lives on men they imagined were their type, foolishly believing that these men would eventually (a) leave their wives, (b) sober up or (c) conquer their writers' block and sell their novel/screenplay. You might even realize that the kind of men you always thought were your type are a complete disaster. The good thing about going out with men who aren't your type is that you may be pleasantly surprised. He couldn't decide if I was weirdly interesting, or just weird.
I think love is over rated movie#
I picked a nature movie that featured graphic footage of wild animals tearing each other apart and having sex. In fact, our relationship barely survived the first date. "Then I found out you were really a nerdy introvert with cats." "When I met you that night, I thought you were lively and outgoing," my husband says. Do not expect men to flock to you the way they did when you were 21. The truth is that if you're looking for a husband in your 30s, romance shouldn't be your first consideration. Because I clung to my belief in the romanticĬoup de foudre, it took a long time for me to come to terms with this. You're just going to have to work harder. This is grotesquely unfair, but there's no sense squawking about it. The trouble with being a single woman over 30 is that the law of supply and demand has tilted irreversibly against you, and it's only going to get worse. I didn't know it at the time, but he was newly unmarried and interested in going out with as many women as possible. It never occurred to either of us that we had met The One. We had a pleasant chat, but no sparks flew. I didn't think he was my type, but I made myself go talk to him anyway. I spotted a man around my age across a crowded room, and asked someone if he was single. It had finally dawned on me that I was going to have to get out there and market myself. I'd forced myself to go to this one because I hadn't had a date in months. We met in the most prosaic way, and it was not romantic. By that time it had dawned on me that I'd prefer not to spend the rest of my life alone – and that if I waited for lightning to strike, I might wait forever. That's how I reached the age of 36, still unmarried. The trouble is, following their hearts makes people behave like idiots. Our culture tells them to follow their hearts first, and not their heads. (In fact, I insist on them.) But society's obsession with romantic love – the notion that one day you will find The Perfect One and live happily ever after – is responsible for more mischief and misery than any other myth of modern life.Īll grownups ought to know this. Am I the only person who thinks Valentine's Day is a crock? Not that I mind the hearts and flowers.
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